The House of Mirth: Book 1, Chapters 11 and 12

Lily Bart

After reading chapters eleven and twelve of The House of Mirth, authored by Edith Wharton, my attention was drawn to one particular statement made by Lily Bart. At this point in the novel, Lawrence Selden had just confessed that he was in love with Lily, and she responded, “Ah, love me, love me – but don’t tell me so!” (Wharton, 112). Her reaction to Selden’s declaration is rather confusing to me. At this point, I still do not understand why Lily does not consider marrying him. Selden is the exclusive person in this novel that makes Lily feel truly important, appreciated, and wanted, and for more than just her beauty. However, she does not want to spend her life with him for some reason that frankly, I cannot figure out. Furthermore, her response to Selden’s profession of love, that he should still love her, but not tell her, seems to be strange. Perhaps she has some reason to not marry Selden, and she does not want to be aware that he loves her, because it could cause her to falter in her decision. Moreover, Lily may not want Selden to admit his love because she does not want it to affect the comfortable and cherished friendship they share. Even nowadays, friendships that turn into relationships occasionally end in a bad situation, and I believe Lily does not lose what they have. She seems to genuinely care about Selden, a rare occurrence in this novel, and she wants him to continue to care for her just so she knows someone does. With her recent actions, Lily had lost many friends, and she most likely does not want to lose the one true friend she has left. Yet, after all, I still do not understand Lily’s reasoning behind her avoidance of marriage to Selden, and it is among many of her other secrets that have yet to be revealed.